We become effective communicators by actually communicating.

The vast majority of us are not as effective as we could be.

But when it comes to spontaneous and public speaking, little things can make a big difference.

It has to do with our attitude and practice, with the approach we are taking.

Spontaneous speaking is the most prevalent, the most common.

Introductions, feedbacks, surprise toasts, cold calls, Q&A sessions…

Speaking off the cuff, in the moment, answering to “what do you think?“ type of questions…

All these tend to provoke the same reactions of panic and silence.

Speaking in front of others is one of the things people fear the most.

But it’s a ubiquitous fear that we can learn to manage and have under control.

We want to stop anxiety from spinning out, we don’t want to overcome it.

Anxiety gives us energy, it helps us focus.

It’s an indicator that what we are doing is important.

But if it spirals out of control it can have the opposite effect,

a nervous speaker can hardly get through the message they want to convey.

Your job as a communicator is to make your audience comfortable,

and to do so you first need to feel comfortable yourself.

Techniques for anxiety management

• Greet the anxiety

Your legs are shaking, your stomach gets gurgly, you begin to perspire.

These are all anxiety symptoms, anxiety signs.

Be mindful, pay attention, and take a deep breath.

Greet the anxiety, see it as natural and normal, acknowledge it.

• Reframe the situation as a conversation

We feel that what we say has to be perfect, that we have to do it right.

But why not see the speaking opportunity as a conversation instead of a performative act?

Ask questions

It can be rhetorical questions, polling, or asking for information.

Questions are dialogic, they are two way by their very core nature.

Asking questions helps us get into this conversational mode,

and it is also a great way to get the audience involved.

Use inclusive conversational language

Nervous speakers pull away from their audience.

They distance themselves both physically and linguistically because they feel threatened.

It can be seen in the expressions and the pronouns they use.

To make the audience feel included, keep it simple and use we and you.

• Become present oriented

Our orientation to time also influences how we react.

Rather than being worried about some future consequence,

it helps bringing ourselves into the present moment.

Getting the right grade, the funding, the support, the laughs… these are all future states.

Walking around the building, doing push-ups, focusing on a song,

saying tongue-twisters, counting backwards… all these make you be present.

Reminder

It is possible for us to manage our anxiety :

• by greeting it when we begin to feel the signs

• by reframing the situation as a conversation

• by becoming present oriented

by : antιdrastιc element

based on : Matt Abraham’s Ted talk

Think Fast, Talk Smart : Communication Techniques

photo credιt : coryallenhall.com

image credιt : istockphoto