Why do we doubt the people that like us?

Why are we sure about those who are hard to get?

We can spend our whole lives in that pattern,

wasting time, depriving ourselves from a healthy relationship.

Here is how it goes :

If they really want you and like you,

if they want to be with you and have made it known,

you no longer have this space taken up by pursuing,

they have made it all too easy and simple.

Assessing them is then all there is left to do,

and you tend to put more focus on what is wrong.

Your brain thinks you’ve worked out the situation,

and goes straight on to the next problem to solve.

If they are not sure, if they’re running away,

your energy is focused on getting them to like you back.

You are on a chasing mode that keeps you occupied,

and prevents you from asking if this is what you really want.

As they are far in the distance, it is harder for you to see their flaws,

the cracks in their personality, their potential problematic behaviour.

You are all too consumed by this desire to just make them yours,

that you don’t even question if all this is really worth the trouble.

You’re on avoidant mode when they like you.

You’re on anxious mode when they do not.

But there is more than that :

Are you a follower or a leader?

Do you trust yourself or not?

Follower mode :

you don’t know what you value,

you take your cues from everybody else.

You don’t trust your own decisions,

you think someone is valuable when they’re elusive and scarce.

Leader mode :

you know what’s valuable, you know what you want,

it all comes from a place of confidence and a place of self-trust.

You know what’s important, what your core needs are,

if they are not met, you turn away and go on with your life.

by : antιdrastιc element

based on : Matthew Hussey’s Youtube video

Why you want them more when they’re not sure about you

photo credιt : twitter.com/matthewhussey