Why they weren’t the one
It has been a long time since you last felt this spark,
and there is no reason why something so great would not carry on.
There is attraction, connection, chemistry.
You can see it turning into love, into a long term relationship.
After all, you’ve done so many things together, you’ve really connected.
They’ve been vulnerable, they’ve opened up, they’ve showed up, they’ve said things.
After all they’ve done for you, they must feel the same way.
It turns out they’re not. And here’s devastation, confusion, bewilderment.
No logic, no comparison can help make sense of what’s going on.
It’s not a broken mind you have, it’s a broken heart.
What if you’ve known them for 2 months and others have broken up after 20 years ?
You can be brokenhearted over someone you’ve never even been with.
Whatever it is you had, it hit you on a deep level,
it represented something that you had been looking for, something that you had been waiting.
You felt deeply, you felt a connection, you felt seen,
you were sure this was different, you hadn’t felt this in years.
It felt like they were the salve to this need that you’ve had for so long.
They came along and felt like they were the answer, like they would be a part of your future.
It is not just losing them, it is losing what they represented that hurts the most,
it’s not knowing when or if love is ever going to come along.
Don’t beat yourself up for being heartbroken, don’t shame or judge yourself.
You need to grieve, you need to mourn the loss of what could have been.
There might have been things you could have done differently, things you could have done better,
learn but don’t obsess over these, there is no reason to torture yourself.
If a person decides to leave, if they’re not interested in continuing,
they’re not what you’ve been looking for, they’re not the partner you need.
Realizing this hurts but you can live with not getting to feel something you felt anymore.
What you don’t have to live with is the hurt that you’ve lost the love of your life.
Short-lived intense relationships are like fireworks,
they arrest our attention in that moment and have us all marvel.
They’re exciting and universally dazzling,
they’re special because of when they happen and because they have an ending.
Getting over these relationships is hard because they never stop being this,
fireworks that we can’t help but looking for as well in the other persons we meet.
But we tend to forget real relationships are not affairs,
they are not flings or fast twitch attractions of a holiday romance.
We’re blinded by their shine and don’t realize they don’t give us what we need.
We forget they can’t be compared to a real lasting partnership.
One in which both compromise, sacrifice, and make space for each other,
in which both are in together, and show up every day in the exciting and the boring moments.
The day after the fireworks, we wake up into our actual life,
however colorful, beautiful, and bright they were, they’re gone, they are over now.
They were not real life, they were just an experience,
and they were really not an indication of real love.
by : antιdrastιc element
inspired by : Matthew Hussey
(life coach, YouTube creator, author of Love Life)
based on : Matthew Hussey’s YouTube video
photo credιt : twitter.com/matthewhussey
ιmαge credιt : crazytaz for deviantart.com
